HAIYA CIK SITI

It was a peaceful Wednesday night and I had just returned from the car wash. I got my car 'shining shimmering spick and span' while I was ready to fill my tummy with dinner cooked by mom in law. I unlocked the front door, gave my salam while making my way upstairs to change my clothes. All happy, I was humming while coming down the stairs.. I then entered the kitchen to grab my dinner. I turned to the stove only to see a MOUSE (okay so it's not even a rat, it was a mouse) nicely walking about on the STOVE where dinner was. The pot of curry didn't have its lid on and the mouse was roaming about next to it and the other two dishes. 

I SCREAMED AND RAN out of the kitchen as though I had just seen a lion. 

Note : I was home alone, mom and dad in law took the sister in law to the clinic as she was down with fever. 

Heart beating at 100km/hr, I calmly (or so I tried) sat myself down on the living room couch and immediately sent a text message to my husband who was working night shift. Of course, I didn't want to sound like I was such a coward so the text message sounded pretty cool, like I wasn't even freaked out by the tiny grey fella. My husband then replied saying that the pest control came earlier that day and sprayed the whole house, probably the reason all these creepy crawlers are making an appearance - NOT WELCOMED

Shortly after sending and replying text messages with my husband, in laws came home. Unusual for me to be sitting in the living room, they asked if I had eaten. I quickly told mom in law to throw the exposed curry as I had seen a mouse taking a stroll near it and I don't know if it dipped itself in the curry so its best to just throw it away. Dad in law asked whether the mouse is still in the kitchen, I've absolutely no clue to that but the kitchen window was closed so there was really no exit for the little fella. Both parents then made their way to the kitchen to investigate, I as you would have guessed, stayed on the couch. 

A few seconds after I heard "Nawwar!". Mom in law called me from the kitchen, she told me to point out to which dish and as I was pointing out......... dad in law said "Haaaaaahhhh!! Tu dia!" 

Out of shock, I screamed (extremely loud), jumped so high as though there was a trampoline placed on my foot, hopped 3 times from the kitchen all the way to the dining area as though I was competing in the Olympics long jump and landed on my all 5 toes. Only this time, all 5 toes were folded like curry puff and It wasn't nicely placed on the ground. 

Nice eh? 

I didn't feel a thing until I lied down in my room trying to calm myself down from the embarrassment and shock. Then slowly my feet felt numb. I slowly put both feet on the ground and stood up. Aha! There you go! I couldn't feel my toes! Panicked, I called my husband. Great, he didn't pick up. I got out of the room and called my sister in law, told her to feel my toes. She called mom in law and mom in law called dad in law. 

Fuhhh the commotion!  

Funny how they just got back from the clinic because SIL has fever and now they're going back to the clinic to bring daughter in law due to fractured foot. The pain started kicking in by the time we reached the clinic. It-was-excruciating! DIL borrowed the clinic's wheelchair, Alhamdulillah how convenient. There were so many sick patients waiting and I was a little embarrassed to be in a wheelchair but everyone in that sick hall could tell I was in pain. 

It was finally my turn to see the doctor. He took an x-ray of my foot, just in case I dislocated or broke my bone (I swear it felt like my entire bone on the right just moved towards the left). The doctor said "Good news! Your bones are intact. Not broken, not dislocated. You must've sprained your muscle so I'm going to give you a jab to reduce the pain". Alhamdulillah, I am so grateful to Allah to have been given the chance to walk in less than a week insha'Allah. It could have been worse but at least my bones are not affected by the accidental jump.

Recalling the incident gives me the giggles, I can't help but to laugh! Thankful to Allah at the same time that It wasn't anything serious but it still leaves me with a swollen foot that looks like a balloon, Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal.  

MARRIED

Alhamdulillah married at last.

How long ago was I supposed to get married? Let's not even go there. My journey towards getting hitched was a soap opera except that it wasn't fiction, there were loads of sudden outbursts of nervous attacks and a sack full of dramatic thoughts from yours truly.

Its all done now, I am truly grateful to Allah the Almighty for being so Merciful to me, AllahuAkbar! Every path that has been made easy for me is truly from His Mercy and blessings. Choosing a life partner is no easy task and Alhamdulillah, I chose the right man - Insha'Allah.

We have both been smiling from ear to ear since the nikah (solemnization) took place, what better gift to ask for than a smiley husband?


“Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqûn.” (Al-Furqân, 25: 74)


“My Lord! Grant me the power and ability that I may be grateful for Your Favour which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and that I may do righteous good deeds, such as please You, and make my off-spring good. Truly, I have turned to You in repentance, and truly, I am one of the Muslims (submitting to Your Will).” (Al-Ahqâf, 46: 15)


“My Lord! grant me from Yourself a good offspring. Indeed, You are the Hearer of supplication.” (Ali-Imran, 3: 38)

Invocations in times of worry and grief

Allaahumma 'innee 'abduka, ibnu 'abdika, ibnu 'amatika, naasiyatee biyadika, maadhin fiyya hukmuka, 'adlun fiyya qadhaa'uka, 'as'aluka bikulli ismin huwa laka, sammayta bihi nafsaka, 'aw 'anzaltahu fee kitaabika, 'aw 'allamtahu 'ahadan min khalqika, 'awista'tharta bihi fee 'ilmil-ghaybi 'indaka, 'an taj'alal-Qur'aana rabee'a qalbee, wa noora sadree, wa jalaa'a huznee, wa thahaaba hammee .

O Allah, I am Your slave and the son of Your male slave and the son of your female slave . My forehead is in Your Hand (i.e. you have control over me) . Your Judgment upon me is assured and Your Decree concerning me is just . I ask You by every Name that You have named Yourself with , revealed in Your Book , taught any one of Your creation or kept unto Yourself in the knowledge of the unseen that is with You , to make the Qur'an the spring of my heart, and the light of my chest, the banisher of my sadness and the reliever of my distress.
 
Reference: Ahmad 1/391, and Al-Albani graded it authentic.

Allaahumma 'innee 'a'oothu bika minal-hammi walhazani, wal'ajzi walkasali, walbukhli waljubni, wa dhala'id-dayni wa ghalabatir-rijaal .

 
O Allah , I seek refuge in you from grief and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being overcome by debt and overpowered by men (i .e . others) .
 
Reference: Al-Bukhari 7/158. See also Al-Asqalani, Fathul-Bari 11/173.

HIJAB, THE LOST IDENTITY

One thing for sure, the country I live in have many hijaabis, Alhamdulillah.

But can you still call youself a hijaabi if you wear the hijaab like this? *pengsan*
I've seen a lady in hijaab once wearing a 3 quarter skirt.
May Allah guide the Muslims to the correct understanding of the Deen, Ameen.   

Here, allow me to share some tips on how to wear your hijaab the correct way.
- Like a true Muslimah :-)

Note to ladies : Feet is our aurah, please have them covered upon leaving your home and in front of non mahrams. Unfortunately this is poorly practiced by many Muslims.. May Allah make it easy for us.

The headscarf should also cover your chest, fashion scarves these days are getting shorter and shorter..

BEING GRATEFUL & THANKFUL TO ALLAH

I came across a video

How many of us have actually stopped to reflect on the blessings Allah Subahanahu wa Ta'ala has given us? The remembrance of Allah is the most precious to Him Azza wa jal and counting the blessings He has granted us is indeed a sign of gratitude towards our Lord.

When we wake up from slumber, thank Him by giving you another day to live, to breathe and to repent.
"Alhamdulillahil lathee ahyana ba'dama amatanaa wa ilayhi nushoor"

[Praise is to Allah Who gives us life after He has caused us to die and to Him is the return]

It is very 'human' for us to whine once in a while, complain about certain things, grumble on petty issues - This is normal if we call ourselves humans. Can we put a stop to this? Is there a solution to pause and delete this displeasing behaviour? The answer is YES 

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala says in Surah Ar-Rad, ayah 28 [13:28]

"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest" 

When you submit yourself entirely to Allah, you will find peace and tranquility in your heart. I, too, used to find faults and flaws in things people don't even see, SubhanAllah this is true. Really petty things and sometimes its just so small and insignificant that its just ridiculous. We are all guilty of this. Post Qur'an and Sunnah, I learned to open my eyes wider to SEE the blessings Allah azza wa jal has granted me - Just like what Dr 'A'id Al-Qarni said in his book "Don't Be Sad".

If you are stricken with poverty
others are chained in debt

If you don't have shoes
others have no  feet

If you have pain now
others have been aching for years

If your son dies
others have lost many

If you have sinned
then REPENT... [Allah is the Most-Merciful]

The doors of repentance are ever opened! - SUBHANALLAH

We remember the ni'mah of health when sickness strikes. We remember happiness when sorrow befalls upon us. We remember peace at times of calamity.

The secret to being content with life is only with the remembrance of Allah. Know that Allah gives and He takes. If you are healthy and wealthy today, Allah is able to take it from you within seconds tomorrow. If you are sick and poor today, Allah is able to shower you with the opposite within seconds tomorrow. Be conscious of your raab and have Taqwa in everything that you do. It not befitting for a Muslim to whine. When something pleases you happens, say Alhamdulillah. When something displeases you happens, say Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli haal.

Be reminded that this life is only a test, those who remains steadfast with gain success in the Hereafter. As for those who choose to follow their whims and desires, they will be amongst the losers in the Hereafter. May Allah not make you and I amongst the losers and may He subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us success in the highest degree and make Jannatul-Firdaus our final abode, Ameen ya raabal 'alamin.

[Verily, those who believe (in Islamic Monotheism) and do righteous good deeds, for them are Gardens of Delight (Paradise). To abide therein. It is a promise of Allah in truth. And He is the All-Mighty, the All-Wise] Surah Luqman, 31:8-9

SHE-MALE

So I was out with my 'feveret kapel' last night.

The intention was to have dinner but I followed them to Shah Alam because they had to run some errands first and later after that we parked ourselves at the small round table in  Pak Li Kopitiam. This is our regular weekly routine, although there's bound to be more than just 'one' kopi session in a week. These kopitiam owners are cashing in from people like us, we sit for hours talking about beneficial topics and no, its not politics.

We noticed there were a bunch of she-males siting across our table and Alhamdulillah my back was facing them. It was an ear sore hearing their oh-so-feminine voices and it would have been an eye sore to face and look at them. These men were dressed in of course, women clothing and it wouldn't be 'perfect' if they didn't top it off with a little make up. Some of them were even busty, I would assume they have gone under the knife to complete their womanliness.

I couldn't help but hold a disturbed frown when I turned to look at these bunch, yes, I despise drag queens. Its a choice you make in life and we are given many choices in life, we just need to make the right one. So these she-males weren't particularly quiet, they were a little bit loud especially when they laughed.

'Feveret kapel' and I were chatting away until...... we heard "aaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

Could you guess what happened? A cockroach probably crawled up on one of their 'masculine' legs and the she-male shrieked in terror. Oh-the-sound-of-that-shriek. Boleh pengsan.

Heads turned and you could almost hear whispers from every table. It is not surprising that this she-male is lack of shyness, he laughed and jokingly smacked his friend's shoulder with all 10 dainty fingers.

'Feveret kapel' and I were stunned and our eyes grew big as though we had just seen a bomb fall down from the sky. I said, "nasib baik tak keluar suara laki... kalau tak, selamat."


May Allah grant them guidance, Ameen

BACKBITING - الغيبة

Neither spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Surely you would loathe it. Fear Allah. Indeed, Allah relents and is Merciful. [Surah Al-Hujurat 49:12]


Say you're sitting at a coffee shop. Sipping your hot cup of coffee with your friends / cousins / mom / aunties / grandma. Sitting back on that comfortable chair and maybe staring at that last piece of brownie on the coffee shop's display shelf, until you hear......  

"Ish! Just look at that woman. Apa lah pakai seluar pendek macam tu. Dah la melayu, sah la orang Islam. Takkan husband dia tak suruh tukar baju sebelum keluar rumah kot?"

"Haa yang ni pulak pesyen pakai tudung tapi pakai t-shirt pendek and jeans ketat. Baik tak payah pakai tudung kalau macam tu."

"Laaa family ni pulak satu macam. Mak dia bertudung litup tapi anak dia bagi pakai baju plunging neckline and jeans ketat. Tegur la anak tu kalau ye pun."

and the conversations can continue this way until you feel like leaving your hot coffee on the table and taking off, leaving these people to continue multiplying their sins until they finish their coffee.

Do you know the definition of 'Ghibah'?- I'll tell you.

Ghibah linguistically means a truthful statement that is said in the person's absence and he would dislike to have that said about him/her. By the shar'i definition, it's called "BACKBITING"

Abu Hurayrah (ra) said that Allah's Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said, "Do you know what is backbiting?" The Companions said, "Allah and His Messenger know best." Thereupon the Prophet said, "Backbiting is to talk about your brother in a manner which he does not like." 

Backbiting is the only thoughtless utter of a few words, light on the tongue but weighty in sin. It could lead a person to the Hellfire. Please note that women are likely to fall into ghibah. Yes, it is scary but it's a fact and it's true. When we see a scenario like the above, where you're nicely sitting in a coffee shop letting your eyes wander around to observe your surroundings, please please please also remember that Allah is watching you. What you say might displease Him and as a result, the angels on your left are jotting down your sins effortlessly. It could be that those women are dressed inappropriately, but know that they might be better than you (in ibadah) and only Allah Knows what it is. One may question, "yeah right, if they're better than me in ibadah than they would know not to dress that way" - This is pure arrogance and ignorance.

I am not saying that it is okay for them to dress the way they do but please also consider the possibilities of them dressing that way :

1. Maybe it was her first day wearing the hijab and she was still trying to get used to it. 
2. Perhaps she never had a proper Islamic upbringing and no one in her family wears hijab except for her. 
3. It could be that none of her Muslim friends ever made da'wah to her about the etiquette of wearing the hijab.
4. For all you know, she really wanted to wear the hijab properly but she's got an abusive husband who tells her not to. She could be in the process of getting a divorce and you don't even know it.
5. She's not a Muslim! but she loves seeing people in hijab and she's secretly wrapping her head in it just to know what it feels like being a Muslim. Maybe someone made da'wah to her and she's fallen in love with Islam. 

I could list down hundreds of possibilities that could lead to legitimate justifications.

If we truly call ourselves Muslims, we should know that our beloved Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم warned us about the severity of backbiting.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, "Sometimes a person says something that displeases Allah through which he is raised in rank; and sometimes a person says something which displeases Allah so it takes him to Hell." [Sahih Bukhari] 

What are the consequences of backbiting?

It is likely that the person who back-bit another will be punished by being ordered, on the day of judgment, to eat from the flesh of the dead bodies of those whom he backbit, as they will be made to appear to him as such.

Neither spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Surely you would loathe it. Fear Allah. Indeed, Allah relents and is Merciful. [Surah Al-Hujurat 49:12]

dan janganlah kamu mengintip atau mencari-cari kesalahan dan keaiban orang; dan janganlah setengah kamu mengumpat setengahnya yang lain. Adakah seseorang dari kamu suka memakan daging saudaranya yang telah mati? (Jika demikian keadaan mengumpat) maka sudah tentu kamu jijik kepadanya. (Oleh itu, patuhilah larangan-larangan yang tersebut) dan bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah; sesungguhnya Allah Penerima taubat, lagi Maha mengasihani. [Surah Al-Hujurat 49:12]


Also, two of the sahabah once criticised a man who had been punished for committing adultery. The Prophet, when he passed by the carcass of a donkey, said, "Where are those two? Get down and eat from the flesh of this donkey!" They said : "O Prophet of Allah! Who would eat this?" He replied, "What the two of you have recently done by defaming the honour of your brother is far worse than eating from this."
[Abu Dawood]

Look how the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم defended the honour of a person who was punished for committing adultery and said that backbiting him was worse than eating from the flesh of the dead donkey! If this is the case, how about backbiting people who have not committed such a major sin? What about backbiting scholars or people who call to, or fight for, Islam?

Think about it.


Why do people backbite?

1. Weakness of faith and lack of piety make a person likely to speak thoughtlessly and carelessly and transgress against other when she speaks. 
2. To vent her anger against the one who she is backbiting by mentioning his faults and bad qualities.
3. To fit in : the backbiter wishes to join her companions in their backbiting, she wants to be part of their conversation. In other words : peer pressure.
4. Personal dislike : the backbiter is having bad thoughts about the one who she is backbiting.
5. For self-purification (absolving oneself of these traits and vices) : the backbiter wishes to absolve herself of any bad qualities and tries to attribute them to someone else. She mentions them in bad light so people think that she himself does not have those qualities. 
6. To honour and elevate oneself : She tries to raise her own self by mentioning the faults of others.
7. Jealousy and Envy : such that when people praise someone, the back-biter gets jealous and this leads her to mention that person's faults. 
8. Mocking,joking and belittling others.

This piece of advice is also for those of you who talk about another person's weakness on blogs, websites, chats, facebook etc. If you want to advice a sister or a brother on something, go directly to them and advice them in a gentle manner. This is called being a Muslim. If you think you're doing them a favour by beating around the bush and announcing their weakness on social sites (even if you don't mention their names) hoping that they will 'come to their senses' and repent to God, then you're wrong. You are the one who should repent to God for committing such a sin. Do not misuse social sites as a platform for your backbiting business to gain popularity and a few comments from your fellow friends, it's not worth the punishment in the Hereafter. As Muslims, we have adab (manners) and as a follower of Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, we have a duty to fulfill and that is by adhering to his Sunnah. Backbiting is no small matter, it is a major sin. May Allah grant us adab in calling people to Islam and grant us the correct understanding of the Deen, ameen.

The Prophet (saw) said, "One of the greatest major sins is to stretch out one's tongue without right against the honour of a Muslim." [Abu Dawood] 

*Credits to Al-Kauthar's Heart Therapy Purification of the Soul. Eye-opening course.