Thursday, May 19, 2011

BACKBITING - الغيبة


Neither spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Surely you would loathe it. Fear Allah. Indeed, Allah relents and is Merciful. [Surah Al-Hujurat 49:12]


Say you're sitting at a coffee shop. Sipping your hot cup of coffee with your friends / cousins / mom / aunties / grandma. Sitting back on that comfortable chair and maybe staring at that last piece of brownie on the coffee shop's display shelf, until you hear......  

"Ish! Just look at that woman. Apa lah pakai seluar pendek macam tu. Dah la melayu, sah la orang Islam. Takkan husband dia tak suruh tukar baju sebelum keluar rumah kot?"

"Haa yang ni pulak pesyen pakai tudung tapi pakai t-shirt pendek and jeans ketat. Baik tak payah pakai tudung kalau macam tu."

"Laaa family ni pulak satu macam. Mak dia bertudung litup tapi anak dia bagi pakai baju plunging neckline and jeans ketat. Tegur la anak tu kalau ye pun."

and the conversations can continue this way until you feel like leaving your hot coffee on the table and taking off, leaving these people to continue multiplying their sins until they finish their coffee.

Do you know the definition of 'Ghibah'?- I'll tell you.

Ghibah linguistically means a truthful statement that is said in the person's absence and he would dislike to have that said about him/her. By the shar'i definition, it's called "BACKBITING"

Abu Hurayrah (ra) said that Allah's Messenger صلى الله عليه وسلم said, "Do you know what is backbiting?" The Companions said, "Allah and His Messenger know best." Thereupon the Prophet said, "Backbiting is to talk about your brother in a manner which he does not like." 

Backbiting is the only thoughtless utter of a few words, light on the tongue but weighty in sin. It could lead a person to the Hellfire. Please note that women are likely to fall into ghibah. Yes, it is scary but it's a fact and it's true. When we see a scenario like the above, where you're nicely sitting in a coffee shop letting your eyes wander around to observe your surroundings, please please please also remember that Allah is watching you. What you say might displease Him and as a result, the angels on your left are jotting down your sins effortlessly. It could be that those women are dressed inappropriately, but know that they might be better than you (in ibadah) and only Allah Knows what it is. One may question, "yeah right, if they're better than me in ibadah than they would know not to dress that way" - This is pure arrogance and ignorance.

I am not saying that it is okay for them to dress the way they do but please also consider the possibilities of them dressing that way :
  1. Maybe it was her first day wearing the hijab and she was still trying to get used to it. 
  2. Perhaps she never had a proper Islamic upbringing and no one in her family wears hijab except for her. 
  3. It could be that none of her Muslim friends ever made da'wah to her about the etiquette of wearing the hijab.
  4. For all you know, she really wanted to wear the hijab properly but she's got an abusive husband who tells her not to. She could be in the process of getting a divorce and you don't even know it.
  5. She's not a Muslim! but she loves seeing people in hijab and she's secretly wrapping her head in it just to know what it feels like being a Muslim. Maybe someone made da'wah to her and she's fallen in love with Islam. 
I could list down hundreds of possibilities that could lead to legitimate justifications.

If we truly call ourselves Muslims, we should know that our beloved Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم warned us about the severity of backbiting.

The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, "Sometimes a person says something that displeases Allah through which he is raised in rank; and sometimes a person says something which displeases Allah so it takes him to Hell." [Sahih Bukhari] 

What are the consequences of backbiting?

It is likely that the person who back-bit another will be punished by being ordered, on the day of judgment, to eat from the flesh of the dead bodies of those whom he backbit, as they will be made to appear to him as such.

Neither spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Surely you would loathe it. Fear Allah. Indeed, Allah relents and is Merciful. [Surah Al-Hujurat 49:12]

dan janganlah kamu mengintip atau mencari-cari kesalahan dan keaiban orang; dan janganlah setengah kamu mengumpat setengahnya yang lain. Adakah seseorang dari kamu suka memakan daging saudaranya yang telah mati? (Jika demikian keadaan mengumpat) maka sudah tentu kamu jijik kepadanya. (Oleh itu, patuhilah larangan-larangan yang tersebut) dan bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah; sesungguhnya Allah Penerima taubat, lagi Maha mengasihani. [Surah Al-Hujurat 49:12]


Also, two of the sahabah once criticised a man who had been punished for committing adultery. The Prophet, when he passed by the carcass of a donkey, said, "Where are those two? Get down and eat from the flesh of this donkey!" They said : "O Prophet of Allah! Who would eat this?" He replied, "What the two of you have recently done by defaming the honour of your brother is far worse than eating from this."
[Abu Dawood]

Look how the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم defended the honour of a person who was punished for committing adultery and said that backbiting him was worse than eating from the flesh of the dead donkey! If this is the case, how about backbiting people who have not committed such a major sin? What about backbiting scholars or people who call to, or fight for, Islam?

Think about it.


Why do people backbite?
  1. Weakness of faith and lack of piety make a person likely to speak thoughtlessly and carelessly and transgress against other when she speaks. 
  2. To vent her anger against the one who she is backbiting by mentioning his faults and bad qualities.
  3. To fit in : the backbiter wishes to join her companions in their backbiting, she wants to be part of their conversation. In other words : peer pressure.
  4. Personal dislike : the backbiter is having bad thoughts about the one who she is backbiting.
  5. For self-purification (absolving oneself of these traits and vices) : the backbiter wishes to absolve herself of any bad qualities and tries to attribute them to someone else. She mentions them in bad light so people think that she himself does not have those qualities. 
  6. To honour and elevate oneself : She tries to raise her own self by mentioning the faults of others.
  7. Jealousy and Envy : such that when people praise someone, the back-biter gets jealous and this leads her to mention that person's faults. 
  8. Mocking,joking and belittling others.

This piece of advice is also for those of you who talk about another person's weakness on blogs, websites, chats, facebook etc. If you want to advice a sister or a brother on something, go directly to them and advice them in a gentle manner. This is called being a Muslim. If you think you're doing them a favour by beating around the bush and announcing their weakness on social sites (even if you don't mention their names) hoping that they will 'come to their senses' and repent to God, then you're wrong. You are the one who should repent to God for committing such a sin. Do not misuse social sites as a platform for your backbiting business to gain popularity and a few comments from your fellow friends, it's not worth the punishment in the Hereafter. As Muslims, we have adab (manners) and as a follower of Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم, we have a duty to fulfill and that is by adhering to his Sunnah. Backbiting is no small matter, it is a major sin. May Allah grant us adab in calling people to Islam and grant us the correct understanding of the Deen, ameen.

The Prophet (saw) said, "One of the greatest major sins is to stretch out one's tongue without right against the honour of a Muslim." [Abu Dawood] 

*Credits to Al-Kauthar's Heart Therapy Purification of the Soul. Eye-opening course.

6 comments:

  1. Correct it please bro/sis,

    The Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, "Sometimes a person says something that displeases (PLEASES) Allah through which he is raised in rank; and sometimes a person says something which displeases Allah so it takes him to Hell." [Sahih Bukhari]

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